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Friday, September 19, 2008

What A Day

I was going to title this post, Bitter Sweet, then Be Angry and Sin Not ,but as you can see I changed my mind.

Bitter because I had to spend my morning in court rehashing divorce preceding that for me seem to be going no where. It's amazing, the whole dynamics of marriage,divorce, love and how on the scale of life hate can so easily filter in. I sat there, watching lawyers, laughing, smiling, and initiating small talk and pleasantries with passerby that they knew. It was work for them, and my lawyer appeared to be enjoying his job. I scanned faces of couples who appeared to be going through the same thing I was going through. I'm sure the stories varied along with the emotions. There was no laughter, no smiles, and if any of them felt the way I felt the joy, for that hour was missing. My lawyer converse with his lawyer and it really irritated me. Not because of there conversation but the nerve of this man (husband) to want things and carry on as if I wronged him. Then I got angry. Angry because morals and infidelity have no place in a court of law. They don't care if the spouse was unfaithful the only thing they care about are your assets. Angry because I married him and after twelve years, don't know him at all.

Ephesians 4:26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath.

So we stand there bickering about the equity of the house and proof of credit card debt, and I am amazed because I honesty felt like I was doing him a favor. He cheated on me with someone I don't believe he ever stopped loving. I thought the right thing to do was to give him the freedom to be with her. Silly me. Simply amazed that he would stoop as low as asking for a glass table that he knows I gave to the Salvation Army. I felt like I was in a scene from Waiting To Exhale, and I'm in aw, the money doesn't matter, the principle behind it is what I find interesting. He wants to make me pay, monetary and emotionally. He wants to make me pay, as if I wronged him. I left the court house fuming. During my drive home I kept replaying it in my mind and telling the lord I was angry really, really angry. It's been about an hour, I feel better now.

Roman 12:19...Avenge not yourselves but rather give place unto wrath, for it is written, vengeance is mine, I will repay, saith the lord.


Today is Tee's 19Th birthday. She is my blessing and gives me reason to celebrate. God's been good to me. He has blessed me with wonderful children. She inspires me and she'll always be my baby no matter how old she gets.

1 comment:

  1. Hello sis,I am so sorry to hear about your day. I think going through a divorce were one spouse has cheated must be the hardest thing to go through, but with God their is a hope knowing that yes he will carry you through this pain , and have you coming out stronger than ever. Everytime I see a divorce where one spouse has left for another woman, it always reminds me of this verse , God is a God who is Not mocked, what you sow you shall also reap. Your Ex is sowing some very very bad seeds, and their will be a harevest! know that God has you right in his hands sis,your life will always stay bless as you stay in the lord. love Rashida